


Traversing

by Tizian23



Category: Carl Barât - Fandom, Peter Doherty - Fandom, The Libertines
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Drugs, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Friends to Lovers, Groupies, Love Confessions, M/M, Rockstars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tizian23/pseuds/Tizian23
Summary: Carl discovers new shores while Peter is busy this Peterthings.Peter sails the ship safely home after all❤️
Relationships: Carl Barat/Pete Doherty
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	Traversing

He slips me the key card for his hotel room and a visitor's pass for our show in the bright breakfast area of the fancy hotel in a city who's name I forgot last night. I should've known that it's not just this he's asking of me. 

"I' ve got this darn interview now...will you go and drop this off for the cutie in my bed upstairs..might want to see the sound check too..?" 

Ah, great...He's got a plaything upstairs.  
Why does this piss me off this much? Some cute little girly; smudged dark eyes, skinny and I bet she's a blonde (he seems to like them blond recently) and dressed in the universal uniform of the cool girls around the world....So, basically looking as if dressed in what she found lying around on Hedi Slimanes bed room floor. Although...she's probably pretty much naked by now. Ha. 

" Yeah, sure, no big deal...I'll see you later then, don't be late, 'kay?" I manage to choke out over my cuppa - trying to sound cheery. I am a bit curious though, even if I hate to confess it to myself. 

Still half asleep, I try to remember the floor we're staying on as I stand alone in the elevator.  
What is it with this hotel..? I've never seen a place so discreetly deserted in the most elegant way.  
'969' his card says.  
I knock short and sharply; announcing that I'm coming in rather than to asking to be let in... The suite is quiet and soaked in honey colored light, the curtains half closed.  
I make my way through the living room section of it, my steps muffled by the thick ivory carpet as I take in the remnants of the deliberately debauched rock star life that Peter sometimes enjoys to surround himself with .  
His guitar... 2 champagne glasses and the empty bottle on the floor... a whiskey tumbler and amber staining the carpet...white powder and one of my credit cards on the shallow couch table.  
One of the stains looks more like blood though...a discarded belt and skinny black tie with blond hairs caught in the knot... half a set of clothes.. .a mobile phone and a little camera.  
I feel rather turned on now... Silently impressed with the shameless trust he's shown in me by letting me see this; his most intimate - but not dirty - details...Not dirty because I know that Peter doesn't believe that anything two people do between the sheets (or on the carpet in the living room) is dirty, as long as it happens out of love and in full consent..though that might be dubious sometimes.  
Yes... his heart has more chambers than a whore house and he is proud of it.. 

"Good morning Birdy " I call out towards the open double doors leading to the bed room....I wonder what she looks like - and if she'll freak out upon finding me next to her bed... She'll be covered in love bites...I see a blond head buried between the pillows and feel a rush of heat running down my spine...my hands are suddenly damp.  
I sit on the corner of the ridiculously huge bed and see more funny looking stains on the sheets.  
On the night stand are Peter's rings...the ones he wears on his right hand. I know what he used that hand for and why he took the rings off...  
I'm flushed now and feel rock hard and weak.... And utterly wrong in my desire.  
What excites me more..? The blood stains or the idea that he probably fucked her before he came downstairs? I can smell him on the sheets...  
I reach out and touch the blond hair, whispering some sweet thing to wake her up...I want to see her, and the traces he left on her... and then I want to make her mine.. .And leave my own traces. 

****  
After the bliss, the blessing and the love that the gig had been I come down to be myself again.  
I felt confused for a while after what had happened in the hotel room. I was light headed and felt guilty whenever I looked at him.  
I wondered if he knew or suspected - and if he even cared? He didn't shy away from me and when we sang together he stood very close to me-I knew for sure that he had no clue  
I intended to leave it that way.  
I was ready for bed once I'd finally managed to find my way out of the venue. I had left it alone and unrecognized. Shook off all protective company. Tied my hair back and wrapped myself in a large scarf in order to be alone with my thoughts and figure out my conscience. 

'969' - This door again. I don't knock this time - I just go in, knowing I'm invited and expected.  
"Hey... there you are...you okay? You left without a word - I had to calm everyone down and tell them you felt sick. Gary started staring at me angrily because he suspected we were fighting again " 

He laughs about this seemingly silly idea and I realise that I have never before felt so close to him b-loved him more for just being himself. The suite had been cleaned and nothing reminds me of last nights shenanigans. I wonder if the maid had felt as intrigued as I did when she walked and found the sinful tableau that had excited me so much...  
Peter pats the space next to him on the sofa, words unnecessary.  
There is a glass of champagne and a neat, healthy line on the table waiting for me. The space next to him is free and it's obvious how much I was expected.  
I drop down into my allocated place and smile up into his bright eyes. His gaze is like the sun warming my skin and I want to open towards him like a damn flower and let him know...let him know what..?  
I still haven’t said a fucking word since I walked in and really didn't wanna to because I was afraid of what he might say in reply. 

"Wow...what a day! " I finally breathe out...  
"I feel mental... I don't even remember anything of the show...was it okay?"  
He hands me a glass and the cold wetness of it makes me feel giddy with excitement... I want to spill all my sins.  
" Ah Carlos, what abstupid question...but I did notice you seemed a bit absent minded...did you actually forget your own silly lines again and replace them with Lalalalala-lalala-laha? ...D'you think you're Iggy Pop now or what?"  
I feel pretty embarrassed about this so I lean forward and put the glass down... When did I drain it?  
I pick up the rolled piece of paper, tighten it a little between my fingers and take the line, following it with my eyes as it disappears.... Cold finger tips. Light-headed instant delusional happiness and the urge to touch something smooth... silky. That silky thing...I always have that when I take Charlie - Peter knows that - so he smiles and lets me have his forearm to hold onto and rub little cold circles on it's warm surface. If I don't tell him now I' ll burst... 

"Peter..." I begin, and my voice sounds hesitant and shaky. 

Next to the open bottle on the table in front of me I see the pass that he handed me this morning.  
It has never left this room. Not after...how could it?  
"Peter..." I repeat myself.Fuck!  
"This morning when I came here...I might have...done something really stupid."  
"Stupid?"  
I don't even feel bad anymore, I just want to spill it out and fucking jump him...What is going on with me..?  
"Oh... so you've met him?" he asks delicately arching an eyebrow.  
"Hell yes, you could call it that, I guess..."  
"Shit...I'm sorry, I should have warned you..." he looks seriously contrite now.. " I always forget that you're not so hmm...Arcadian in this..."  
"Well, today I was..." 

He thinks about that for a minute, his eyes getting bigger by the second. Then golden lights start twinkling merrily in them.  
"Tell me more, Biggles.." he breathes.  
His eyes and the stars in them make me feel sure that he'll not be mad, and then I realize that he's highly amused by this scenario.  
He offers me his other smooth forearm to rub and pulls me into his shoulder tightly. 

" Well... (where the hell do I start)...I didn't know...Jesus, Bilo who the hell was that?"  
"That was Jamie, he's pretty spectacular isn't he?" he smiles with a hint of pride in it.  
I swallow hard, the Charlie and the memories making my mouth dry.  
...How I watched the blond head in the bed rise from the pillows under my touch and saw it was a boy.  
Hidden under a wild mop of silky looking, dirty blond hair were the largest light blue eyes I had ever seen. He looked at me and flashed me a sleepy, insanely sexy smile. 

"Oh Hi , you're Carl, right?"  
I could tell that he's not the slightest bit ashamed or embarrassed to be found by a stranger in another mans‘ bed. The exposed biceps is adorned with a large sailormans anchor tattoo and he’s got this perfect slightly golden skin colour that only few real blondes have. 

"Yes, very much not what you usually prefer...nor what I normally prefer..." My voice trails off. 

He'd turned around in the bed to face me.  
"Wow, Pete... certainly wasn't exaggerating...got a fag for me?"  
Dumb-founded and clumsy, I reached over to hand him one and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in....  
Pete sniggers.  
"Ah fuck, are you blushing? Carl... have you been playing with my toys?" He pulls me onto his lap, touches my chin and turns it to fully face him.  
"Did you touch him?" he asks seriously.

"I might have." I say into his palm. 

"He feels really good, doesn't he? It's very different from touching a girl, isn't it?"  
"Hm, yesss...and we might have kissed too..." 

I feel his hands on my neck, carefully tracing it as my hands wrap themselves into his shirt lapels. 

"Tell me more, come on, love..how was it kissing a boy that was not me-did it turn you on...? Did you close your eyes or did you wanna see him?" Peter whispers it in my ear, his breath so close. 

He pushed me down on my back, pressed me into the sheets and all thoughts vanished as I felt his lips... felt his naked skin sliding against my clothes and I simply stopped wondering or thinking at all...  
Peter is kissing my neck now. One hand is in my hair, the other innocently on my thigh. I turn my head to him and look into his eyes.... kiss him with open lips, allow myself the same devil may care attitude I felt between those sheets. 

" No... " I moan, into his mouth  
"... I wanted to see the moment he closed his eyes to lose himself in it..."  
I take Peter's head in my hands as he slides me across his lap to straddle him. For a second we both stare at each other trying to understand what just happened. 

" Hmmm” ,Pete says, " Nah, he is not very submissive I guess..." 

"No.. yes I mean.." I reply, grinding myself hard into his lap  
"... I noticed. He literally dragged me into bed and out of my clothes.. I didn't even have time to think if I wanted it or not because he was..." 

" Rather convincing?" His hands wandering up my back beneath my shirt.  
"So you got naked in my bed, Biggles? What else happened in my bed while I was out for once giving a interview?" 

He sounds breathless and still very amused about all this. I think that all this would've been more complicated to talk about if it was not my best friend's sex kitten that had jumped me...if this wasn't Peter, so innocently dirty-minded,... more complicated to talk about if I had not totally fucking loved it...  
Loved every second in that bed of getting undressed and touched and...so fuckin hard to breathe... and touch...Oh god... blond hair dragged downwards over my belly... a hand and mouth on my cock... blue eyes flashing me hungry looks... and it all felt not as strange as I thought it should... but fucking great... perfect and I don't know why on earth this shouldn't be something that I enjoy.  
Even though I knew then and there with a frightening clarity that I wanted Peter, that his scent was not enough. 

"His body felt like steel ropes wrapped in velvet.." I start feeling more positive about what I'd felt in that bed and what I feel now... Somehow I want everything at once...  
Peter seems to know; he pulls my shirt off and drags me closer down his lap. Breathes in my hair...  
"Did you look at him when he first took you in his mouth? He's got the most expressive eyes when he does, right?"  
Yes, he sucked me off with open eyes and it was only then that I realised he had a stud in his tongue that he slowly dragged up my cock. I wrapped his blond tangles around my wrist much tighter than I should have when I felt his wet fingers down my thighs.  
Thought that this must be how the girls feel when I look in their eyes as I push into them for the first time... this fucking hungry feeling of helpless want. The fingers wrapped around the base of my cock are dirty and I wonder if it's blood under his nails.Peter's blood... 

Peter has put his hand in my jeans while licking my lips. It's a careful touch because he knows so well that this is going to change everything... and that it happens because I want it 

When he touches me properly the first time I lean my head on his forehead and close my eyes...It feels as if I’ve wanted this for a long time even though I only found out a couple hours ago... 

"Oh my god, Peter...Ahh...yes, I looked at him and fucking wished it was you...I almost lost it. Oooh.."  
I feel his fingers as he slides them down around my cock, his breath fans my face, he smells so good. 

He'd lifted himself out of my lap and slipped his studded knowing dirty little tongue in my mouth again, he had a certain look in his eyes, a question that told me something would happen now. Then...everything in the same moment - his thumb brushed my lips, sneaked in and rubbed my tongue with a soft finger tip... His mouth slid down my cock, pressing the little metal stud in his tongue tightly against it in the most pleasureable way, a slick fingertip slipped into me... an exploring look taking in my widening eyes with delight....an all-over invasion in every possible way... I arched my back off the bed and sucked on his finger to not scream out in incoherence or profanity. 

Peter looks flushed now as if he has read my mind...I look down at his hand in my jeans, he's holding me with just the perfect mix of pressure and slickness, a thumb circling slowly around the slick tip... I want to be closer to him than that, but I leave it to him to pick up speed on his path of seduction.

"Did you let him fuck you? Put his fingers in you..?" he asks  
"They are so soft and he finds the perfect angle...its a miracle ..."  
I'm not quite sure what he means but.. 

The feeling when he started to move his finger in me... adding another one too soon... the most delicate feeling of arousal. It was such intimate touch. It felt full of promises.... Never having been touched like this before added to the rising feeling of being under his control.  
It started to to hurt when he tried the third finger... I moaned in slight protest.  
Wishing for a name to sigh.  
His lips left my cock and were replaced by a tight wet hand as he started kissing me again - softly - as if I was a pretty girl in whose panties he wanted to get for the very first time.  
The rather innocent kiss together with his fingers up my ass did it. I gave up any resistance and let him in...he touched something inside that made me instantly dissolve into white dust and shattered glass. ...His blue eyes dancing all over me with a knowing glint in them...moving his lips back onto my cock to suck me again, rougher this time. He made me come so hard and so fast that I might have screamed something close to "Yesss" or "Fuck"...or maybe it was a name...the only name I could think of to scream... 

"Yes,he put his fingers inside me and I feel soohhho... like a girl...I wanted to get fucked  
“...please fuck me. I want you so badly..."  
I whisper in his mouth and press myself against him, in his lap, into his body. He pushes the table behind us aside with a bare foot and bends me backwards to the floor without removing his lips from mine. Carefully he lays me down with himself flush on top on me.  
" Carlos" He sighs my name as if it's a different word for pleasure. “Gonna do that - on the bloody carpet. Is it that what you want?" 

God yes, I almost scream as my naked skin touches the floor, feeling like a blushing virgin begging to be ravished.  
Hovering over me on the floor he runs a slightly shaking hand down my chest. I tear open his shirt, ripping a couple buttons off in the hasty process of removal. I want to see him... feel him-naked. I want it so madly and him on top of me... his hidden skin that I've only felt incidentally before and never with intention before. I want to feel him all over me... Feel the texture of his skin and see its translucent silken perfection. All that ...and ohh, so much fucking more. 

He pulls my jeans and boxers off together as if I'm a gorgeous - and expensive - present that he's unwrapping from crackling silk paper to admire. Runs his fingers down my trembling legs in the wake of fabric removed..his lips touch my shoulder and then close around my nipple, tenderly nipping it.  
His hands seize my waist, covering my hip bones... I feel precious under his touch.  
Our eyes lock as he kisses my belly button like other people kiss altars... bowing his head for me.... Following the goose bumps as his breath glides lower, he rubs his lush wanton promise of a mouth against the wet pink tip of my cock.  
I want to say something but I'm utterly lost for words, so I just bury my hands in his hair, stroke him like a cat and settle for moaning "OOH" and "Yess, please dont stop" again and again.  
He is sucking me now; tenderly still exactly how I like it at this moment that I feel so weak, so open, so totally in his mercy...  
He rubs my belly and sides as l always do when I get myself off - how does he know that? He licks my balls, cupping them in one hand as he kisses the pathway to pleasure underneath them. When his fingers sneak inside me it brings back the glass shattering feeling, but I know this time its only the prelude to the real show.  
I'm hyper aware of everything around me, the soft light almost caressing us, the smoke of our cigarettes that dances above the table - lingering as a spectator of my surrender.  
The soft carpet under my naked back which rubs raw if you stroke it the wrong way around... my skin whispering under his touch that so sets me on fire...Peter looks up at me to see me arching off the floor and begging for it in so many ways.  
"Carl" he says touching my cheek, " it’s going to hurt a bit,"  
And again this says so much more than that....The things he doesn't need to say.  
That he wants me as much as I want him. That he loves me. That he is as scared as I am and that finally he is about to get something that he never would have just taken. 

"Yes I know" I reply, "Please..."  
His hand applies wetness between my legs, he looks into my eyes and starts sliding into my body.  
Now this is pain, as sudden and unknown and endless as I anything I've ever felt before. My helpless empty hands scrabble at the carpet for something to hold onto.  
My eyes slam shut, I am speechless, breathless, I've forgotten how to even move....forever more.  
This is how a sword feels as it's guilded by fire....going from heat to gold.  
Every pore on my body is open, I feel slick with sweat and travelling afar from myself. 

"Look at me! Breathe!" his voice brings me back. I open my eyes - wondering that nothing has changed - only me...on this carpet with my best friend who just conquered my body like an army taking a castle. 

"You okay?" I see he's shaking, trying to contain himself, hating himself for hurting me...  
We wait, we breathe, we drown in each others eyes.  
I am becoming aware of him in me, the way this feels, how it's not really pain anymore just an incredible feeling of being full to the brim, completely under his control. Being owned and exposed.  
When I feel able to move I reach for his hand and somehow smile. "..I think so" .  
The first time he moves in me a wave of heat courses over my body again, he touches my hips and he's the hunter touching the wild creature caught in his trap.  
I feel lured in by the bliss his smile promises and scared of the control he has over me.  
Peter bends down to kiss me, presses his body close and shares my heat and shaky flicker of lust.  
His breath as he whispers "...I know..." into my hair makes me realise that this control is an illusion. 

This is Peter - my Peter - and now he is so much more!  
He makes love to me in the most possessive and alluring way imaginable. 

"Yes " I moan hungrily. He is suddenly everywhere - all over me - kissing me, touching me, inside me of course, making me stretch and bend and moan and shiver and soon he will make me beg. 

I hear him whisper my name and all the dirty little secrets he always wanted to tell me but never did. 

Stroking my wet hair out of my face and capturing me in his arms, he is the only thing I see as I finally explode into a million bubbles bursting with bliss... mind blowing proximity and all my overwhelming love for him.  
He moves faster now, but something is missing...again I suddenly understand girls much better.  
The shyness to say what you want - need - maybe because you don't know what it is thats holding you back from disolving into heat and happiness.  
Taking my throbbing cock in his hand between us he starts panting and looks at me exploringly just like Jamie did some hours ago.  
His hand and his cock in me move perfectly synchronised now.  
This was what was missing... I almost lose my mind over this touch, so faint and still yet so yearned for.  
Making it complete and taking away any left fear.  
He is riding me rather hard and fast now, one hand on my hip. I move with him, touching the carpet only with my shoulders and calling out with every move.  
I feel free ( "Arcadian now... hm?" he smiles) and safe and so in love. 

"Peter " I sigh "You gonna make me come"  
"Yeah... come on"  
So I let go, I fucking exhale and I come.  
As intense and sudden and unknown and endless as I never came before....And this time i am screaming the right name...  
When I open my eyes again I see Peter adorned with the most stupidly loveable and turned on smile upon his face.  
He watches me coming undone and enjoys that HE is doing that. Oh, and he looks pretty proud too. 

Then he leans forward, falling into my arms and hides his face between my shoulder and my neck, licking it and moaning so sweetly that I almost melt under his breath.  
He is falling apart in my arms, moving with me slowly. Now I can feel- we are making love.  
He says my name as he comes , all shivers and shakes and slipsliding over my skin. His hair is plastered to my cheek, he goes limp across me and I feel both of us. ..Quiet together in the after glow of revelry. 

*****

Saturday, 13. 10. 16:45  
Jamie  
"And? Did it work out? Happy?"

Saturday, 13. 10. 16:47  
Peter  
"Yes!!! Wow!"

Saturday, 13. 10. 16:49  
Jamie  
"Told you i can suck everyone out of the closet;)  
You owe me a nite out after a gig of yours, lover boy"

*****

**Author's Note:**

> So this was the first thing I ever wrote!  
> I hid it away on LJ for a long time so please go easy on me.  
> I think Peter and Carl do not get enough love on here so I cross posted it finally.


End file.
